I have a problem.

The problem is not running. I’m reasonably fine at running. The problem is the twelve minutes after the run, when I sit in the car and decide whether to post the run to Strava.

This is, by any objective measure, a ridiculous problem to have. And yet.

The Strava arithmetic

Here is the calculation I do every single time:

  1. How far did I go?
  2. Was the pace embarrassing relative to my followers?
  3. Are any of my followers the kind of people who will notice and silently judge?
  4. Was there a good reason for the pace — weather, hills, genuine tiredness — that I could communicate via the description field?
  5. Is a description going to make it look worse because now I’m explaining myself?
  6. Should I just not post it?
  7. But then I lose the streak.
  8. But does the streak matter?
  9. It matters to me.
  10. But is that healthy?

This takes approximately twelve minutes. Sometimes longer if I got overtaken by something.

The hierarchy of acceptable runs

There are runs I post without thinking. Fast ones. Long ones. Races. Parkruns with a good time. These go up immediately. No agonising. “5.1km, felt strong” — done.

Then there are the complicated ones.

The 3.4km slog where I meant to do five but something felt off and I called it early. The run where I was going fine until the hill and then very much wasn’t. The run where my average pace was technically fine but looks slower than it should because I walked for 400 metres while negotiating with my knees.

These runs require a description. The description needs to be honest but not too honest. Not performatively self-deprecating. Not falsely humble. Just accurate enough to explain without becoming an essay.

It’s a lot of work for a run I’ve already done.

What I’ve noticed about Kudos

Kudos — Strava’s way of saying “I see you ran, well done” — is both meaningless and deeply meaningful.

I know it means nothing. A thumbs-up from someone who scrolled past my run at 11pm while checking their own stats. And yet when a run gets eight kudos versus the usual three, something minor but real happens in my brain.

This is embarrassing to admit. I’m admitting it because I suspect I’m not the only one.

The solution I haven’t implemented

The obvious solution is to go private, or delete the app, or simply run without recording anything and exist outside the attention economy for one hour a day.

I know this. I continue to not do it.

Instead I post the run, close the app, and then check it twice more before bed to see if anyone’s liked it.

Running is good for the mind, they say.

They’re right. The app is a separate issue.